


In the Name of the Father

by malamuhla



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mass, Religion, Roman Catholicism, church, sunday school, teen sex/romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malamuhla/pseuds/malamuhla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In the name of Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.  Amen."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Matthew 7:1-2

**Author's Note:**

> Those who are sensitive to religious topics might not want to read this. it's heavy in Christian and Catholic teachings, and both the Old and New Testaments will be quoted and spoken about.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ¹"Judge not, that you be not judged." ²"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."

There might as well have been a permanent indent in the palm of his hand—the crucifix of his rosary making it clear that his faith is real and true. Erwin sat, listening to his Priest Pixis' sermon, just as he did every Sunday morning between 7 and 9 am. He had never missed a single day—save for the one time he had the flu when he was 15 and his parents forced him to stay home. He was devout, set, and committed to the truth he saw in the light of Jesus Christ.

“The Lord be with you.”

“And also with you.”

Each and every time the greeting was spoken, Erwin made an effort to be loud enough for the Priest to hear. His parents beside him, even more proud of him each day, always set their tones soft next to his. Pixis raised his arms above the altar as he spoke the blessing for those who attended the church the day.

“Amen.”

All at once the followers spoke in response as they always did, each and every Sunday. Erwin's grip on his rosary slackened, allowing him to pocket the jewelry after a chaste press of his lips against the cool wood of the cross. He closed his copy of the Holy Bible—worn and torn from years of studious use, almost all pages highlighted and marked for thoughts and comments. He turned to his mother, whose smile was wide and accepting and her eyes a twin shade of clear blue to his. His father, now standing and speaking to a fellow member about the service, was boisterous and friendly among everyone.

The Smith family was the first one you knew of once you entered the St. Paul church in Sina. They always found themselves in the midst of events and services for other members. Good Catholics were by no means scarce, but Thomas and Elizabeth Smith and their two sons were the epitome of Holy.

Erwin turned to his young brother and reached for his hand. He gave his fingers a quick tug before he caught his attention and motioned for him to stand up.

“Come on, Armin. We have Sunday School now.” The younger blond looked up to him with a wide grin on his face.

“Yeah, yeah!”

Erwin faced his mother again, holding his brother's hand. His mother looked down to Armin and then back to her older son.

“Alright, you boys enjoy school today. Make sure you're back home by 11, okay?” She reached forward with her hand, her fingers wiping at a spot on Erwin's vest. His uniform for class was to always look its best. The vibrant royal blue of the vest always kept crisp by his mother's washing, and his shirt and tie were always ironed to a tee for their best appearance. His tan slacks were to remain stainless, while there was a bit more leeway for his dress shoes (if they were scuffed, all he had to do was clean them before next service).

“Sure, Mom.” Erwin gave her a short wave as he pulled Armin down the opposite side of the pew. They waited at the end while people filed out of the church, taking their sweet time to enjoy each little 'hello' and 'wonderful service.'

Once the right side of the room was mostly empty he guided Armin to the door that connected from the main chapel to a large hallway that housed the classrooms used for school after services. Once he brought Armin into the hallway he asked if he needed to use the restroom. The young blond shook his head, adamant about being old enough to decide when he had to go.

Erwin walked him to the second door on the right which was the classroom used for children in grades 1 through 3. Since the service had just ended, the only people in the room were the accompanying teacher, Miss Petra Ral, and a few parents that had begun to drop their kids off.

“Miss Ral!” Armin snatched his hand from Erwin's and ran toward the red-head.

“Why hello there, Armin! It's good to see you this morning.” She scooped up the boy, coddling him in her arms as she spoke to him about how his morning was, his only responses being in giggles and laughs as she held him.

“Petra, how are you?” Erwin asked as he wandered to the two of them. His hands shoved into his pockets while his bible sat steady between his right elbow and waist.

“I'm good, Erwin. How are you?”

“I'm pretty good. Hey, was Auruo at service this morning? I didn't see him.”

The young woman shook her head, giving a sarcastic roll of her eyes as she set the young boy down. “No, of course not. You know I can't get him to come. Lord knows I keep trying though.”

Erwin gave a shrug of his shoulders and a sympathetic smile. “He'll come around eventually, I'm sure.”

Petra planted her hands on both sides of her hips and cocked one to the side. “Don't worry, I'll keep trying.” She gave him a quick flash of her teeth and lifted her hand to give him a quick salute. “See you later, Erwin.” He raised his hand to wave her goodbye as he turned to the door and exited back into the hallway.

He walked down the corridor that had sever classrooms labeled respectively for the age groups they taught. At the very end of the corridor was the room assigned for 9th through 12th graders. Across from the room was a set of male and female bathrooms that were available to anybody attending the church for any reason. Once he go to the classroom door he peeked in before he opened it, seeing his teacher Mr. Zackley through the small glass window.

The classroom itself, like many of the others, was fairly small since it was only used to house at most 20 students at a time, though it was rare to get more than 10 to 15. As usual before the class begun, a dozen chairs were set in rows while the tables they used as desks were pushed to the back of the room. A few of Erwin's peers were already there talking. Erwin waved to Mr. Zackley—who flashed him a simple smile—as he went where a few of his friends were already sitting in the chairs.

“And then he gives me this look like I'm crazy, so I told him that—hey Erwin!” the tall brunette with glasses looked up to Erwin briefly before she resumed what she was saying. “I told him that if Superman was to catch Lois Lane at that height, and he was going that fast, she would basically liquify her!” Hange was flailing her arms around her head as if that would somehow prove her point. The other two teens around her were Mike Zakarius—blond, and easily the only kid they knew who hit a growth spurt in the 3rd grade—and Nile Dawk.

Mike, as usual, engaged Hange in her debates like he was a part of them. He gave his two cents about whatever the conversation was, making sure to be a diplomat between Hange and her adversary in one way or another. Nile on the other hand always seemed bored or uninterested, and rarely took part in conversations unless it intrigued him.

Erwin made an apologetic face at Nile before he sat down next to them, Mike giving the other blond a quick smile.

“So what's going on?”

“Something pointless as always.” Nile turned to Hange with his eyesbrows furrowed.

“Hey, you know I'm right. There is no real way he could catch her without doing some serious physical damage!” Hange looked at him with an accusing expression on her face. Nile only scoffed at her before the four of them heard Mr. Zackley get up from his seat and walk to the door.

Almost the entire room was silent, save for the few whispers between girls and boys as Zackley was accompanied by a young man. He was small—downright tiny—with jet black hair that almost hung over his eyes. His eyes were a deep shadow of grey and more than anything he looked bored and unapologetic. Zackley brought him to the front near his desk and stood next to the boy and scanned the room, expecting everyone to silence themselves.

“Alright everyone, we have a new member to the church and to our class,” he turned to the young man, as cordial as he could, and motioned him forward. “Go ahead, introduce yourself.”

The boy turned to him, his expression almost angry, and then back to the small class.

“Levi.”

He barely looked at the class before he turned back to Mr. Zackley expectantly. The older man took in a deep breath and then pointed to the seats, telling him to sit down. Levi sat down without holding a single persons gaze, though all eyes were on him. Although most people in the church were kind, God-fearing folk, there was no denying that teenagers were cruel and heartless. Erwin looked to the boy, the first thing he noticed was that he looked completely out of place. It was like he was born from a different planet and that he wasn't meant to be anywhere near the church, or Sina to be frank. Levi furrowed his brow then his eyes shifted suddenly to meet Erwin's. The blond quickly averted his glare, turning back to his group of friends.

Mr. Zackley brought out a copy of the New Testament from the top drawer of his desk and flipped to a few specific pages with tabs on there. He cleared his throat and everybody shifted to meet his attention.

“Alright, so today we're going to go over the book of James. Now, I know this is fast forwarding a bit past Titus and Hebrews, but there were a few passages I wanted us to go over before...”

Though Erwin tried his best to pay attention to Zackley's teaching, there was an itching he felt. In his peripherals all he saw was the new boy—unforgiving, brooding, and apparently entirely too rude. He sat there, near the back of the room, a lake of empty chairs around as the other students buried their noses in their bibles. He did not have one. His palms were bare, and they laid crossed against his chest. He didn't even have a uniform yet.

Erwin swore to himself that he didn't see the boy during service, as he usually searched around the pews before the sermon began. Perhaps he was sitting in the back, but he doubted the boy was even there, considering the outfit he was in. He wore the most plain grey sweatshirt over a tattered shirt that looked like he'd worn it for too many years. His jeans were faded and lose, and the whole ensemble was finished with a torn up pair of converse that may have been a size too big. Every opportunity he had, Erwin stared at him, utter confusion and curiosity circling his mind about the boy. He was caught a few times when a grey stare met with his and he quickly resumed to whatever reading was in front of him.

To say the least, Erwin was thoroughly distracted. Even as he heard the faint muffled call of his name it took him a few seconds before he responded.

“Erwin, would you please read James 4:11 and 4:12 aloud.”

Erwin's eyes swiftly snapped back to Zackley who was staring at him incredulously. The blond cleared his throat before he turned a single page to bring him on track with the passages in James. His voice was nervous at first, feeling the sudden blow of discipline for distraction.

“Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.”

His own words hit him like a blow to the stomach. He never strayed from righteousness, and even in his short moment of weakness he was brought back by the Holy scriptures. The words echoed in his mind as he spoke them, dutiful at first, then, as their meaning began to grow, they fell soft from his lips. Just as he dared to look at Levi for his appearance and apparent attitude, who was he to judge him?

“There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy : who art thou that judgest another?”

His eyes fluttered shut as he finished the passage with ease of memory. His guilt ran heavy in his mind. He'd done just as the passage forbade not moments before. He knew the Father himself was the only liable being to pass judgment, and already he was shown a sign so as not to stray. He took in a deep breath, his throat aching and dry.

“Good, now, I'd like to talk about what this passage means...”

Levi.

Erwin's eyes wandered back to the small boy towards the back of the room. His arms were still crossed, though they seemed to have relaxed from tension, and his eyes were met with Erwin's, though this time Erwin continued to stare. The boy looked less than amused, but he looked far less angry than before. The grey of his eyes wandered the length of Erwin, taking in his form and perhaps passing his own judgments. Erwin didn't care as much that he might have been doing that; for some reason pity seemed to flood him, no matter how unnecessary.

Class that day seemed to pass in a flash. Their normal routine of studying, examining, and interpreting passages in a large circle formed by their chairs, was over and done with in what seemed like a matter of minutes. Erwin simply rode with the motions—one eye ever present on the new boy's position and stance. He gauged him and surveyed him like prey. And although it was gruesome to portray it in such a way, he couldn't help but feel an obligation to admittance for what he was really doing.

Throughout the entire morning's class Levi seemed to be growing more and more irritated the more Erwin eyed him. Of course, who wouldn't be upset if someone you'd never met kept staring at you while you did absolutely nothing? Even Erwin acknowledged the rudeness of his behavior, but it was difficult for him not to watch him.

By the time class was over and everyone was packing their things together, Erwin made it a point to keep to himself. As he Mike, Hange, and Nile headed towards the door Zackley spoke up, calling for Erwin to stay behind. He waved to his friends, stating that he would see them tomorrow in class.

“Yes, Mr. Zackley?” He stood across from the older man sitting at his desk, his eyes moving between Erwin's and to something behind him. The new kid walked from the back of the room and stood next to Erwin, the sheer height difference alone was incredible as the blond nearly dwarfed him by a whole head high. Erwin looked down to him nervously though Levi's eyes were focused in front of him.

“Erwin, obviously this is Levi. Levi,” his hand motioned in Erwin's direction. “This is Erwin Smith.”

The shorter kid made it a point to keep his head unmoving, his eyes alone staring up at him with a peeved sort of glint to their grey. The close proximity gave Erwin a chance to see his details—his skin, a milky white, clear and blemish free (save for a few freckles and moles scattered about his hands and neck). His hair was not only dark, but stark black as a starless night, and despite his short stature, he held himself confidently as though he towered over the largest giants.

“Levi, I'm going to have Erwin here show you around a chapel a bit.” Even though Zackley's words were not a request, but more of a demand, Erwin couldn't help but feel a dry protest in the back of his throat. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to be kind to Levi, certainly he was a generous and likable kid, but Erwin felt a looming repulsion from him like he wasn't someone who favored others. “Is that alright, Erwin?”

Mr. Zackley looked less than amused by the blond's pause. He wasn't a patient man despite his environment and teachings. Erwin nodded quickly, his neatly combed hair coming a bit undone by the shaking. “Yes, sir.”

The older man stood from his desk while Erwin looked down to Levi, trying his best to avoid eye contact. He nodded his head for the door and walked to it, checking behind his shoulder to make sure Levi was following him, and indeed he was. The shorter teen kept a decent distance between them, his eyes glued to Erwin's back as they exited the classroom into the hallway. Erwin kept looking back as they walked the length of the corridor before Erwin finally turned back to him, looking down to him nervously. He swallowed dry, his eyes met by uninterested grey.

“Uh, wait right here. I have to do something real quick.”

Levi only stared at him for a moment before his gaze turned and he leaned himself against the wall. Erwin turned, his eyes staying on Levi before he finally headed to his brother's classroom. He opened the door to see the small blond sitting at one of the desks, Petra sat next to him as he colored with some available crayons. The small red-head was smiling and encouraging Armin before she caught glimpse of Erwin at the door.

“Oh, Erwin! We were waiting for you.” Armin's blond head immediately whipped to meet Erwin's gaze, a massive grin spreading from ear to ear.

“Hey, Petra. I'm sorry, I have this thing I have to do. Could you walk Armin home for me?” The tall blond had an incredibly apologetic expression on his face, truly sorry for having to spring the request on her so suddenly.

“Oh, sure of course. What is it you have to do?” She looked genuinely curious and almost slightly confused. Erwin shrugged, looking back to the door and then back to Petra who was now standing next to the desk.

“There was a new kid in our class today and Mr. Zackley wanted me to show him around the church.” His thumb gestured to the door, trying his best not to sound condescending. Petra took the few steps necessary to close the gap between them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and her face had a mischievous expression to it. She kept her voice low, her shoulders shrugging up as she spoke.

“Oh, is it that black-haired kid I saw earlier? Really short?”

“Yeah, that's him.” Erwin was truly surprised that Petra had seen him that morning, when he hadn't remembered seeing a single glimpse of him around the church.

“His name's Levi right? I saw his name on the classroom sheet earlier,” she paused, looking around cautiously as if the walls had ears. “I saw his last name posted as Mariani.”

Erwin's brows furrowed in confusion. “Mariani, like, Nick Mariani?”

“Yeah, apparently that's Nick's son.” She looked completely baffled by her own information, and Erwin's expression wasn't too different. He looked at her curiously.

“I didn't know he had a kid, let alone a wife. I mean, my mom heard some rumors about some stuff but I never took it very seriously.”

“Same here, but I guess it's true since he's here.”

Erwin shook his head slowly. He had no idea that the man, who most referred to as the surrogate Pastor of the St. Paul church, had any kids. He was a man who always made a point of involving himself in the church's activities for holidays and throughout the entire year. He was a stern man, but most viewed him as pleasantly pugnacious. He was, as far as the members were concerned, a dedicated Catholic, who's faith was what brought him to other people.

Petra raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes, her shoulders shrugging again. “Well, I guess there's a lot of stuff we don't know, I mean, he is a pretty quiet man when it comes to his personal life.” Erwin nodded along agreeing. “Whatever,” she paused before returning to her usual, chipper attitude. “Don't you worry, I'll get Armin home today.”

Erwin let an internal sigh of relief fill him, and an attested grin followed suite. “Thanks so much. I'll see you later!” he waved slowly to her as he opened the door to the hallway, making his way back down.

He saw that Levi was still perched against the wall appearing even more bored than before. He had his fingers curled, and he seemed to be checking his nails out of lack of much else to do. Erwin made his way back to him quickly, the only sound in the lonely hall being the tapping of his shoes against the linoleum. Levi's eyes looked to him slowly, and then back to his nails as he pushed himself off the wall as Erwin neared him.

“Um, okay. Uh, I can show you around the altar and pews, and we could—“ Erwin was quickly cut off by the smaller boy's glare.

“You don't need to show me around.”

His voice was a surprise to the blond. His tone deep like a growl in contrast to his small frame. Erwin was caught by it, his brain taking a few moments to associate the sounds with the lips that spoke them. “What?”

“I said you don't need to show me around. I really don't care to see the church.”

There was a soft clicking noise at the front of the hall. Erwin's head turned to see Petra and Armin walking from the classroom. Petra looked at him curiously, waving along with Armin to say goodbye. Erwin waved back to the two of them with a small sigh. He turned back slowly once they passed the threshold back into the chapel. With his eyes back on Levi, he was surprised to see there was a softer sense to his expression, almost solemn compared to the annoyed and uninterested he saw before.

“Was that your brother?”

Erwin was caught off guard once again by the tone of his voice; deep and curious. “Uh, yeah. His name is Armin.” A bantam of a smile spread on his lips at mentioning his kid brother. “He's only six, but he's a smart kid.” Levi's eyes avoided his for a moment, his head nodding at the information. There was a short silence before Erwin cleared his throat and spoke.

“So, I can show you around—“ he was cut off once again by Levi's agitated voice. It seemed as though he could shuffle through emotions and tones at the drop of a hat.

“I told you I don't want to see it. I'm just going to leave anyways.” He seemed far more irritated than he was before, hell-bent on refusing Erwin of what he was only told to do.

“Um, alright. I can walk you out of the church then.”

“Whatever.”

Erwin was trying his best to be as cordial as possible to this guy. Obviously he was new to the church, and probably the town since he couldn't recall anyone having known him or seen him around, at least not in the church. Along with the fact that he was apparently the unknown son to Nick Mariani, he was entirely novel and foreign to Sina. The reason behind his unapproachable nature, Erwin thought, was probably because he didn't know anyone, and maybe he was just scared to meet everyone in the church. Erwin thought to himself about what it might be like to not know a single person where you lived. It would definitely be difficult, and a bit frightening.

As they walked out of the hallway and through the pews, Erwin thought of ways to strike small talk, even in the short time before they would be leaving the church. Empty as it was with the priests in their quarters and all the members having left, the church was somehow filled with the blaring sound of silence. Levi walking a few steps behind him, though Erwin tried his best to keep slow despite his large stride, but the boy refused to walk beside him. It was unnerving for Erwin but he decided that it might just be because of Levi's anxiety of not knowing him.

They reached the front of the church where the large wooden doors opened to the stone steps at the front. The blond held the door open as Levi stepped through, and they made their way down the steps to the sidewalk while the chilly Spring wind hit them. Erwin turned to Levi slowly, his lips parting as he was about to speak.

“Bye then—“

“Wait!” Erwin stopped Levi as he was turning in the opposite direction. The smaller teen looked back to him annoyed, one brow quirked in curiosity. “I know it must be hard moving to a new town and stuff, well, I mean, I'm assuming you're new to town since I've never seen you before and,” he paused while the nerves in his hands shook with anxiety. For whatever reason, it was difficult to speak to this kid. The air around him was intimidating and angry. “What I mean is that if you need someone to talk to or whatever, I'm always here. I know you don't really know me but I can always try to help.”

Erwin tried his best to be accommodating and friendly, as difficult as that might be in that situation.

“Uh, sure, thanks.” Levi looked rather put-off by the offer, though his thanks was hinted by his genuine tone.

Erwin smiled and held own his hand to be shaken. “It's nice to meet you Levi.” He had a wide grin on his face, the type that oozed charming.

Levi took his hand hesitantly, a small grimace as he shook it.

“I'll see you around on Sunday's then?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Levi turned his back to Erwin, walking away without a hint of hesitation. Erwin took in a deep breath, his eyebrows lifting like he'd just been rejected. He turned around slowly, heading home while the only thing on his mind was the Levi acted, and how rude he was despite how welcoming Erwin had tried to be. He was like a puzzle with pieces that changed and switched no matter how many times you tried to place them.

______________________________

“So, Erwin, Petra dropped off Armin earlier today. What was that about?” Elizabeth's tone was slightly accusatory as she spooned a mound of mashed potatoes onto her plate.

“Mr. Zackley told me to show the new kid in out class around the church afterwards, so I asked Petra to take him home.”  
Elizabeth's eyes shot wide as he told her. “Oh, is that the new short boy with the black hair?”

Erwin nodded slowly as he picked at a few stocks of broccoli on his plate. “Yeah, his name is Levi. Petra told me that he's Nick Mariani's son.”

Erwin's mother audibly gasped, dropping her fork against her plate with a loud clacking noise. “That's right! I heard a few rumors around that he had a son.”

Erwin's father kept silent at the table, eating his food gracefully while Armin picked and spread his meat and potatoes around with his fork.

“I also heard that his mother was Jewish. Or well, that's what Jeanine told me after Mass this morning.” Elizabeth seemed to be addressing the entire family now, reveling in the rumors of the town. Erwin kept silent. Rumors were not becoming of someone to adhere to, though he couldn't deny his curiosity for the gab. His mother, a housewife by trade, was a center for gossip in the town. She knew each and every mother and father, their children, their homes, and whatever secrets she could dig up about them. If news found its way to you, it was most likely at the hand of Elizabeth Smith.

Erwin continued to pick his food, unappeased by his dinner and his appetite lost. Levi had been on his mind the entire day. Curiosity flooded his head, and he kept trying to piece together whatever he could about the boy. If the rumors were true, and he was Mariani's son born to a Jewish woman, there was sure to be more to him, and it may explain why he was unapologetically rude and unapproachable.

“May I be excused?”

Erwin's mother looked at him quizzically, eying his nearly full plate of food.

“Honey, you haven't finished any of your food.”

“I know, I'm just not hungry, and I have a ton of homework to finish for Biology tonight.”

Elizabeth hummed, pursing her lips. “Well, alright. Be sure to finish it then.”

“Thank you.” Erwin pushed himself from the table, grabbing his plate and making his way to the kitchen to place it on the counter next to the sink. He made his way through the dining room and through the living room and up the stairs to his room.

He flopped himself onto his bed—his face buried in his pillow while his mind wandered in the darkness of his room.


	2. Proverbs 12:26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour: but the way of the wicked seduceth them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, you'll find out what Erwin gave up for Lent soon enough.

On the Monday after Levi's arrival to the church, Erwin made his way to school just as he did any other weekday, though his mind was undoubtedly flooded with far greater thoughts than simply what test, exam, or quiz he needed to study for. Erwin almost never dwelled on his opinions of things; he usually kept to himself about what he truly believe unless he was spoken to about it. Although it was true that he had only met Levi in just the last twenty-four hours, he had somehow taken precedence in Erwin's head.

Erwin realized that his thoughts were trivial at most, if not entirely unnecessary. He was less enthralled with the young man as he was concerned. Levi Mariani was obviously a less than personable fellow, and the fact that even Erwin Smith, one of the most diplomatic members of the church, was troubled by Levi's attitude, it must have meant he needed some serious help.

Erwin made his way down the length of his high school's fence, the large Sina High School stone sign coming into view in the distance. The air was cold in the early Spring of April, and a long shiver traveled down his spine as he entered the open courtyard of his school.

He went straight for his locker on the east side of the expansive campus (even though the town was relatively small, there had been great efforts in making the high school's courtyard large enough to accommodate almost every resident). In his locker were his history and math textbooks—which he quickly realized he had forgotten to take home over the weekend. The blond let out a long-winded sigh, closing his eyes in frustration.

“You forgot yours too?” 

Erwin turned his head swiftly to see Nile coming up beside him, his hands buried deep in his jean pockets. Nile leaned himself against the tall lockers that joined with Erwin's, giving his best friend a taunting look. Erwin gazed at him lazily, rolling his eyes in agreement.

“I completely forgot that we even had homework in them. Mr. Balto and Mr. Shadis almost never assign homework.” Erwin groaned in frustration as he nabbed the two textbooks for his first and second period classes from his locker. He shut the door roughly, hooking the lock in and clicking it shut. He slung his backpack around his shoulders as Nile clicked his tongue and they made their way to the closest stone bench of the campus.

Erwin saw Hange sitting with an underclassman he didn't recognize. He turned to Nile with raised eyebrows and a curious smile. She seemed to be explaining something to the kid, her hands rising and falling with the inflection in her voice. She was the passionate type—always ready to strike up a conversation about her interests at a moment's notice, and it appeared that the boy she was talking to was her latest victim.

“Who's the kid? He looks kind of,” Erwin paused to conjure up an appropriate word to describe him. “...nervous.”

Nile laughed haughtily at Erwin's observation, and as they made their way to the brunette, Erwin could notice a faint blushing at her cheeks. He turned to Nile with a devious look and tip-toed up behind her while she was embedded in her impressive conversation. Erwin slowly raised his arms before he brought them down swiftly and engulfed them around the girl's slim frame.

“Erwin! What are you doing, oh my—“ She cut herself off short, her voice crying out in embarrassment. She turned back to the blond, whose grin was wide and playful, and she let out a nervous laughter and accused him for being dumb enough to sneak up on someone who was lost in dialogue. Erwin apologized with an impish grin before he pulled his arms back. He looked back to Nile who was staring curiously at the boy who was sitting next to Hange.

The kid, who was clearly either a Sophomore or Freshman, looked entirely out of place talking to Hange, a Senior. Despite his nervous nature, he held a cautionary air about him, and his eyes hardly seemed to falter from Hange's direction.

“So, who's the boyfriend?” Nile asked accusingly, his voice taking on a curious, though thoughtful tone.

“Oh, guys, this is Moblit Berner. He was just asking me about joining the Biology club!” Hange answered enthusiastically. She turned to the younger boy, his shaggy caramel hair covering just above his eyes. He turned to Erwin and then Nile and gave a tight-lipped, nervous grin.

“Nice to meet you, Moblit.” Erwin reached out with his right hand expectantly, a genuinely pleased smile garnishing his face. The younger boy took the blond's hand hesitantly, though his grip was admirably strong in comparison to his looks. After shaking Erwin's hand his head turned to Nile's direction, his lips parting as though he were about to speak.

“Hey.” Nile kept his greeting short and to the point, an almost irritated look to him. Erwin looked to Nile accusingly, reprimanding his horrible manners with just a glance of his eyes. Moblit looked to the two of them, and then to Hange, who gave an understanding smile. There was no helping Erwin and Nile's protective nature around their childhood friend.

“Um, I'll see you later, Hange. It was nice to meet you guys.” Moblit stood from the stone bench quickly, grabbing his backpack and books from beside him.

“Oh, bye Moblit!” Hange waved to him as he left in the direction of the Arts buildings. Erwin and Nile looked to each other slowly, both feeling the bubbling of laughter at the base of their throats. All at once they both let out a flurry of snickers and belts of laughter. Dumbfounded, Hange looked up to them from the stone bench. Nile was laughing so hard he was bent over and had to lean against Erwin, who was holding onto his stomach and trying his best to keep himself standing straight. “What are you guys laughing at?” Hange asked in a humored curiosity.

“Hange, please.” Nile tried his best to talk between giggles, but he ended up failing miserably once he snorted. There was a sense of irritation growing on the brunette's face, and she turned to the tall blond for any answers he had for their sudden knock of humor.

“Hange, that kid,” Erwin began, interrupting himself for another round of snickers before he finally settled the upcoming chuckle. “He obviously has a huge crush on you.” The girl looked to Erwin quizzically, huffing to herself quietly before Nile nodded his head in agreement, still letting out small huffs of laughter.

Before Hange had a chance to reply, the three of them heard the first bell of the morning, signaling them to head to their morning classes. Erwin and Nile waved to Hange who still looked completely baffled by the boy's words as they headed to their morning math class with Mr. Balto. Once in the small classroom, they sat down in their unfortunately assigned seats that separated them by an entire row of desks. Erwin sat down and pulled his textbook and binder from his backpack as the classroom began to fill with students.

Having Calculus 1 in the morning was one of the few things Erwin looked forward to on school days. Even though he had the option of opting out of a math class his Senior year, he figured it would be better to get his higher math requirements done in high school than having to worry about them in college. He figured having it in the morning would be better than at the end of the day when he would be the most tired. Unlike most, he had a love and respect for maths and sciences, though he knew he most likely not end up doing anything associated with them.

As far as Erwin was concerned, he was going to join the Priesthood. He was devoted to the Catholic church since the day he was baptized, and he really couldn't think of much else that made him happy. There were other things he was interested in, like animals and children, but he couldn't quite see himself being a veterinarian or even a teacher. He looked forward to Sundays—Mass and church events were something he really felt a part of instead of simply participating in, and he truly felt that he could see himself living the rest of his days in the ways of the men who served God.

Even though he couldn't really afforded to slack off during this particular lesson, Erwin felt himself being sucked into his thoughts. While Erwin lost himself in a lazy daydream, his Calculus teacher, Mr. Balto, was going over several equations on the board. The lines and curves of the letters and numbers in chalk were tantalizing, and whether it was from lack of sleep or simply his mind finding interest in the mundane, Erwin's thoughts were brought back to something a bit more obscure. He wondered about things that never seemed to make sense—why blackboards were green, why certain verses in the Bible said what they said, and then why people fall in love. He thought of his mother and father, and he wondered if they loved each other.

There was a particular screech of the chalk on the board and he saw the white. The white that was so familiar and plain and pure. He felt deja vu just looking at it—the thick, smooth precipice of its corner and how something so soft-looking could be so hard and cold. The blond held his head up by the heel of his palm, his eyes lidded with fatigue, and he was reminded of someone else—somebody, like the chalk, with pale skin that was accented by a darkness that surrounded them.

Erwin lifted his chin from his palm and his eyes widened in realization. His eyes surveyed the room, searching for something strangely familiar. His eyes fell on Nile who turned to him peculiarly and questioned him with the shake of his head. Erwin looked away, reminding himself that there was absolutely no way he would be there. He tried his best to shake the thought away, but he was quickly bombarded with his own speculations.

Calculus 1 seemed to drag on for hours with seemingly no end. Erwin was undoubtedly consumed with concern and interest with the idea that the boy he met yesterday—Levi—might be attending the same high school as him. He let the thought wrack his brain that morning; he realized that despite not actively searching for the boy before class, he had no recollection of seein him. Levi was the type of person you could easily spot in a crowd, and still Erwin didn't. Erwin declared to himself that he was going to actually search for him at lunch when all Juniors and Seniors would be out of class.

Once his second and third period classes rolled around, Erwin was beyond exhausted mentally. He realized that there was this looming anxiety at the thought of seeing Levi at his school. Erwin by no means feared the boy, but there was an aura surrounding him that reeked of terror.

At lunch Erwin searched. While Hange and Nile spoke about classes, or weekend plans, or whatever it was, Erwin practically perched himself like a hawk in his seat in the cafeteria. His eyes wandering over each corner and crevice of the large room. Just as he was looking over a clique-infested set of tables he felt a nudging at his arm.

“Erwin, what are you doing?” Hange looked at him, perplexed. She was wiping her glasses on the sleeve of her sweatshirt while she looked at him.

“Yeah, man. You've been acting like this since first period. What's the deal?” Nile butted into the conversation, sounding just as concerned as Hange did.

“Well, I was just checking if that new kid Levi was going here.” His words came out bashfully. He realized how ludicrous it was for him to be acting so paranoid about someone he just met at church going to their school. It was entirely possible that he was a Sophomore or a Freshman and that he wouldn't really see him around campus at all.

“Oh, yeah. I heard from Mike who heard from his mom that Levi's home-schooled.” Erwin furrowed his brows at the brunette's words. He figured it wasn't at all impossible, but it just seemed somewhat odd. “Apparently Mike lives just down the street from Mr. Mariani, and so he heard his mom talking to him on the phone and she said something about his son going to school. I guess he said that he was home-schooled.”

Erwin let the words sink in. It wasn't impractical per se, but more so that it was a bit weird. He didn't know too many kids that were home-schooled, and it wasn't really a popular option in a town that really wasn't all too big. He looked down at the sandwich his mother had pack for him, laying in the plastic bag, untouched. He thought about what it would be like if he hadn't known her most of his life. He wondered if her sandwiches would still taste as good. He wondered if Levi would feel that way.

The school day seemed to pass in the blink of an eye after lunch ended. Both Nile and Erwin were chewed out for having not finished their WWII assignments over the weekend. At the end of his seventh period Chemistry class Erwin headed home. Nile had stayed for football practice while Hange had a meeting with the Biology club that she in fact was the president of. Erwin, in his Freshman year of school, had decided that instead of participating in any clubs or sports he would instead focus on his school work and what he was doing with the church. That didn't mean he wasn't a part in school activities or rallies, in fact last year he was a leader for the homecoming committee, though he admitted to himself that it was one of the most pointless things he'd ever done since all but one of the members were screeching girls.

Erwin realized as he was walking home that days like these made him wish he could still walk home with Mike. Even though they only lived about two miles from each other, they were technically in different school districts. So instead of attending Sina High with Erwin, Hange, and Nile, Mike had to attend the only other (and rival) high school in town, Stohess High. Erwin never paid much to school politics, but he did wish that Mike still went to the same school as the rest of them, like they did in elementary school.

With the knowledge that Levi did not in fact go to the same high school as him, or even that he went to either of the town's high schools, Erwin's week seemed to pass rather smoothly. For the Catholics, it was the last week of Lent and that meant there was going to be a short, optional Mass on Saturday, and then a much larger, more grandeur Mass held on Easter Sunday. Erwin and his parents had opted to skip Holy Saturday's Mass, and instead they decided that it would be their family day where they would spend the day with each other and gorging themselves on the things they had given up for Lent.

It was a day that Erwin always looked forward to. In years past, Erwin had always given up things that were indeed dear to him, but they were things he could easily give up for the Lord. When he was fifteen he gave up television, and although his friends told him he was crazy, he found that being able to occupy his time with reading and other things, rather than television, was far more enjoyable than he had anticipated, and even since then he still watched way less television than before.

When Holy Saturday ended, Erwin was ready for his Lent to end on a good note, and on Sunday morning he was excited for what Easter Mass had in store for him. Once he and his family were seated in one of the front pews, Erwin made his usual survey around the chapel as the seats were being filled. He saw Hange and her mother a few rows down. She flashed Erwin a quick smile and he returned it with an even wider grin. As he was looking across the room, an acquainted pair of charcoal eyes caught his attention.

Levi was sitting with his father near the back end of the west side of the church. Erwin could hardly recognize him by the blatant change in his appearance since the last Sunday he saw him. His hair was now combed neatly, and nearly plastered to his forehead and temples by some sort of hair gel. He was wearing a brand new, pressed Sunday School uniform that was adorned with a sleek black tie. The only constant Erwin noticed that had remained was the tired stare of his grey eyes. He was looking forward, never faltering in his gaze as his father sat next to him. They were eerily silent in the back of the pews, avoided by other church members like a plague.

Erwin stared at the boy for a few seconds longer before he felt his mother tap his shoulder. He looked forward to the start of the morning's Mass with a greeting by Father Pixis. The other priest, Father Sanes, stood silently by the other man's side as he gave the morning's prayer. Erwin listened diligently as the sermon began. There was a serene smile on his lips as the Fathers spoke of Easter's meaning and of Jesus' resurrection. It was always a fascinating thing for Erwin to hear every year, and he always took great efforts to learn something new about the events each time.

As Mass continued on, the blond felt a sudden burying at the back of his skull. He sensed there were eyes peering at him from behind, and as Pixis spoke in a muffled tone he turned his head slowly to look back towards the end of the row of pews. He was met with a dark stare, one he'd only come to know by chance. Levi looked at him as if he were ready to strike—a stillness in his expression that turned Erwin into a living portrait, as if he were being examined and scrutinized.

In an effort of diplomacy Erwin gave the smaller guy a chaste smile. His eyes, blue and pure, were genuine in an effort to soothe whatever beast dared to pounce him. Levi kept his eyes locked on blue for what seemed like minutes before there was trepidation. He blinked several times, nervously, before his gaze whipped suddenly back to the altar. Erwin still eyed him questioningly, though he knew he would receive no answers for what had just happened.

Erwin brought out his rosary as the Mass was nearing its ending, kissing the worn wood with ritual. He kept sneaking peeks back to Levi during the service, but his gaze was never met with again. When the Fathers ended the Mass with a greeting and a prayer, all the members stood and wished peace with each other. Erwin's mother and father excused their sons for Sunday school, turning to the Dawk and Zakarius families for hellos and typical adult conversations.

Armin hopped up and led the way back to the classroom hall, and just as Erwin was about to say goodbye to his brother he felt a tapping on his back. He turned and was surprised to see that Levi was standing rather nervously behind him, his eyes averting the other's gaze entirely.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Erwin was caught off guard to say the least, but he nodded and patted Armin on the head before turning his full attention to Levi.

There were teenagers and children filing into the hall and classrooms as Erwin and Levi leaned against the wall silently. Erwin waited patiently as Levi peered at the students as they passed by.

“So, what's up?” Erwin felt a tinge of apprehension in his chest—there was still an unwarranted sense of fear he felt merely by Levi's name and presence. He was small though formidable, and Erwin waited anxiously for the other to address him.

“I just—“ Right as Levi was beginning to speak, the boy's attention was caught by Nile and Hange walking down the hall, the both of them enthralled in a discussion just before they caught up to where Erwin and Levi were standing. Once they reached them, Hange looked at Levi and then Erwin with an inquisitive expression. She smiled, and Erwin looked to Levi and then back to her, his mouth agape in hesitation.

“Uh, Hange, Nile, this is Levi.” He looked to the small kid beside him who was looking at Hange, a gleeful sparkle in her eyes.

“Hey! Nice to meet you, Levi.” In typical enthusiastic Hange style, the brunette lunged forward with arms wide to greet the less than excited raven with a sudden hug. She squeezed tightly around his shoulders and Erwin could tell from the corner of his eyes the look of utter shock and horror plastered on Levi's face. Enough though he still felt a hint of apprehension, Erwin couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at the other's expense. Hange finally released her grip around him and pulled back to be met with Levi's murderous gaze. Erwin looked down to him and spoke in the girl's defense.

“Sorry, Levi. That's just how Hange is. She's pretty,” He looked to the girl thoughtfully as she gazed at Levi excitedly. “...rambunctious.” Nile laughed in succession, and held out his hand to the smaller boy. Levi shook Nile's hand reluctantly, though he seemed a bit more accepting of a handshake than a surprise hug.

“Welcome to glorious Sina, Levi.” Nile flashed the boy a quick smile before he turned back to Erwin. “You guys heading to class with us?”

Erwin was met with Levi's silent gaze, and he nodded to Nile swiftly. “We'll catch up with you guys in a minute.”

Nile and Hange smiled at the both of them before they headed down the length of the hall to the classroom, Levi's glare lingering on the two of them as they entered through the door.

“You were saying?” Erwin's voice was soft and cordial as he spoke. He figured that if Levi had taken the effort to pull him aside to talk, it would be more than worth his time and attention. The shorter boy looked up to him, a hint of hesitation in his gaze before he parted his lips to speak.

“I just wanted to apologize,” He began. He brought his hand up to his bangs where his fingers tried to brush through the thick glaze that slicked the hair to his head. He made an irritated sound before he pulled his hand away and spoke again. “For the way I acted last Sunday—and this morning. It was rude of me to be such an ass even though you were just trying to be nice to me.” His gaze was genuine, and Erwin heard the truth in his voice and there was no reason to doubt him.

A wave of relief washed over Erwin at Levi's apology. It was just as he predicted; that having moved to a new town with all new people was what made Levi nervous and standoffish, and that the stress was what caused him to be rude. The blonde flashed the other a pleasant smile at the revelation.

“That's alright, it's completely understandable.”

“Thanks.” Levi's gaze wandered to the floor, and just as Erwin realized there really wasn't much else to say, he figured the best course of action would be for a whole new introduction.

“Levi, if you don't really know any people here, I'd be more than happy to be a friend. I can only imagine how hard it would be to make new friends in such a small town.”

Erwin saw a smirk break Levi's serious mask, his eyes taking on a new softness that Erwin would have to admit made him seem a bit younger in addition to his size and face. He knew somehow that Levi was appreciative of his offer, and before he could say anything about it, Erwin suggested that they head to class. Levi nodded, and as they made their way down the hall, Erwin could feel a different sort of aura about him.

When they got inside the classroom, they made their way to where Hange, and Nile were sitting. Levi sat with the three of them until they were finally met with Mike who came in shortly after them. Before the class started, Levi kept almost completely silent, though Erwin concluded it was a step up from complete isolation. He assumed that with time he might be able to assimilate with the four of them a lot better, and eventually, their little group could be five instead.

Throughout the class Erwin could feel Levi's eyes on him just as they were in Mass. It was already something that felt familiar, but this time around he was able to meet his gaze with a smile, and instead of a glare, Levi's eyes were friendly. After the hour and a half class, Hange, Nile, and Mike stood and headed for the door while Erwin waited a bit longer for Levi to put on his coat. Hange looked back to him and smiled, and Erwin returned the grin in earnest. He waved for them to go ahead, and he and Levi walked from the classroom into the hallway together.

“You have to pick up your little brother, right?” Levi asked as they passed by the bathrooms.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I'll wait for you then.”

As they reached Armin's classroom, Erwin peeked in to wave hello to Petra, who was helping a few kids grab their coats and belongings. She waved back to him as Armin made his way to the door and out of the classroom. The small blond looked up to Levi as the two of them waited for Erwin to meet with them, and Armin looked frustrated and curious with Levi's existence.

“Who are you?”

“That's Levi, Armin.” Erwin shuffled his little brother's hair with his hand as he flashed Levi a tight smile. The raven crouched down on his haunches to meet Armin a little below eye level. He reached out his hand to Armin, taking a hand not much smaller than his own and giving a short, gentle shake.

“It's nice to meet you, Armin.”

“You look bored.” Erwin's eyes popped in surprise at Armin's words, and he quickly scolded him, and urged him to apologize.

“No, no, it's okay. I actually am bored most of the time.” Levi gave the small boy a sarcastic grin, and his eyes reverted to their naturally lidded state. Armin let out a few giggles as Levi stood up and looked to Erwin again. The blond gave him a smirk, and nudged his brother to walk ahead of them.

Erwin and Levi, with Armin a few paces in front, made their way through the empty pews and through the large front doors. The steps in front of the church were occupied by a few students waiting for their parents to pick them up, and Erwin noticed that Hange, Nile, and Mike had already made their ways home. Once they reached the sidewalk, Erwin turned to Levi, ready to bid him farewell until next week before he was shortly interrupted by the smooth lilt of his voice.

“You have tomorrow off for Easter holiday, right?”

“Uh, yeah I do.”

“Do you want to come over to my house? My dad's gonna be gone most of the day.”

Erwin was slightly taken aback by the other's invitation. He had only met Levi the week before, but he supposed that since he did offer him a new friendship, it was more than expected that Levi would want to hang out, though Erwin didn't think it would be so soon.

“Well, yeah I guess we can hang out.”

“Alright. Then come over to my place around noon,” Levi searched the pockets of his coat as he spoke before he fished out a small, hot pink marker and held his hand out expectantly. Erwin obliged him and lifted his right hand for him to which Levi uncapped the pen with his teeth and grabbed the blond's hand. The touch of his skin was cold on Erwin's palm, though the pale curve of his fingers was soft and appealing. Levi wrote down the numbers and letters to an address in sloppy, uneven handwriting. The ink's scent was overwhelming even in the outside air, and Erwin smelled the hint of strawberry in the ink. “I'll see you tomorrow then?” Erwin nodded to Levi before he gave the blond a smirk and swiftly turned the opposite way and headed down the sidewalk without a second glance. 

Erwin wasn't entirely sure, but he swore that grin was devious.


	3. Romans 8:18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

“Don't be too late, alright?”

Erwin could hear his mother yelling from the kitchen to the front door where he was slipping his tennis shoes on. Her voice was barely muffled by the thick walls of their house, but he was able to reply with an “okay!” before he was out of the door.

The second he leapt down the few front steps of their porch, he felt a gust of April wind over his cheeks, leaving a trail of invisible goosebumps down his spine. He pulled at his scarf to cover his lips tighter—the light blue cotton, warm and soft on his skin in the late morning sun. It was just past eleven thirty as he began to stroll down the length of his quiet suburban street. Erwin always tried his best to be early for appointments and events, but he had decided that since he was only going to Levi's house, per the boy's request, he assumed that it would be okay if he were a few minutes late.

He rummaged in his coat pocket to find the small post-it note where he had transcribed Levi's address onto from his palm, though the ink was still there just slightly faded against the pale skin of his hand. Despite how casual the event might be, Erwin still felt the prickling blisters of nervousness as he made his way through the small neighborhood that separated their two houses. There was no denying that Levi was somewhat...odd.

As he crossed the street connecting North Edison to the front of Armin's Elementary School, Erwin thought about what Levi's house might look like. In all the years he'd been going to the church, he hadn't interacted with Nick Mariani that much, and so, he had a difficult time assuming what the man's life outside of the church might be like.

He assumed that it was a moderate place—a decent lawn with maybe a few bushes or flowers, as apposed to his own home which his mother had transformed into an immaculate garden of tulips, gardenias, and hydrangeas. He thought that maybe the inside was just a tad messy—since two guys were living there, as far as his knowledge extended, though he remembered to make no outrageous assumptions. He was curious, but there was no data to go on.

But then he thought of what Levi's room might look like. Overall Levi seemed like he would be a regular teenager—messy room, band posters, and with an unkempt bathroom to match. He pondered about what bands Levi might like—surely ones that Erwin had never heard of, his parents had always made sure to keep a strict eye on what he read and listened to.

It was nearly impossible for Erwin to conjure up an image of Levi's home life since he barely knew the kid, and only even knew him through the church. Still, his mind wandered as he passed by a few houses he recognized. When he was younger, he used to always make his way to the surrounding neighborhood to play with Mike and the other kids living around him. After looking at Levi's address he knew exactly where the house was, or at least the surrounding house and streets.

Once he made it to the street just before Levi's, he felt the thrumming of his heart increase. There was a sudden lack of oxygen in the air as he turned the corner, where a long road stretched before him, shrouded by large oak trees on either side, and a eerie quietness to the bordering homes. He walked slowly, his mind blank and void of thought or emotion, and the long street seemed to grow even longer until his feet brought him to the front of a house he'd never known.

It was a single story, brick home—moderate in size, and the front yard, to Erwin's surprise, was bare and lifeless. There was only a small patch of grass that could barely pass as a yard next to the heavy, dull gray of a driveway. A concrete pathway set in an arid block of squares led from the driveway to a large, vibrant, green front door. Erwin took in a deep breath of cold air as he stalked up the car-less driveway to the door. There was a small golden mail slot on the front and a matching knocker—the gold paint chipped and worn from years of use.

Erwin let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as his hand reached for the loop of the knocker, pulling it timidly, and letting it fall softly against the metal a few times. He held himself straight as he waited. And waited. And waited...

Erwin's brows furrowed as it seemed like nobody was home. He looked to his watch—just barely past noon, right as he saw the small slot near the bottom of the door open. The blond let out a grunt of confusion before he saw the slot lower back down slowly. He looked around the doors corners, noticing that no peephole was in sight, and he heard the tell-tale sound of locks being undone before the door swung wide open.

Levi stood in the center, dwarfed by the large frame of the door in a plain white t-shirt and jeans. What Erwin had really noticed was that the kid was drenched from the tip of his forehead to his wrists in what he assumed was sweat. He detected a hint of deodorant, that strangely reminded him of his father.

“Hey.” Levi nodded his head to the other before he turned back into his house, leaving the door wide open for Erwin to shut on his own. He crossed the threshold with trepidation, worry and tension flooding his thoughts as he followed Levi into the open living room of his home. What Erwin first saw was that there was no television. A very worn and outdated brown, corduroy couch and matching loveseat were facing each other in the small room while a dark mahogany-finished coffee table filled the space between them. He figured there might be a t.v. in another room, though he suspected that since the house was so small there might not be one at all.

He noticed the gaudy floral wallpaper plastered throughout the entire room and joined hallway—dusty roses painted over a tacky combination of light blue and tan vertical stripes. Erwin was not a home decorator, but from the way his mother had adorned their home inside and out with careful detail, he could tell she would not approve.

Erwin followed Levi past the open archway that led to the kitchen, where grey tile met with shaggy brown carpet. It was clear that the house was fairly old, and had most likely been around for several decades. As they walked down the narrow hallway, quiet and without a single breath, Erwin regarded that there was not a single photo hung on the wall. There were no family portraits taken with children, or even perhaps of a younger Levi posing for a school photo. The walls were simply bare with only the wallpaper to show for time passing.

Levi opened the first door on the left, walking in just before Erwin did. As he stepped into the room, Erwin noticed a faint scent that had a somewhat nostalgic feel to it. It was a citrusy smell that Erwin could immediately identify as Levi's—it was strong and nearly overbearing, but it was nice and left him feeling greedy for more.

“You can go ahead and sit on the bed.”

Levi's voice was uninterested and dull, along with the interior of the room. Erwin noted that—just as the rest of the house was stale, so was Levi's room. There wasn't a single poster or photo hung on the wall, even with a blank desk situated in the corner of the room across from his double bed. The bed itself was only covered by a dreary green comforter and sheets, with an gaudy bright quilt lazily folded on the lower half of the bed. The mattress, simply stacked on a box-spring on a metal bottom frame, was pushed into the corner of the room against the wall where the only window in the room was. What Erwin saw then—and it was probably the reason for such a boring room—was a stack of boxes near the foot of the bed on the floor.

Levi saw that Erwin was eying the boxes carefully as he toed his sneakers off and kicked them against the side of his desk.

“I haven't finished unpacking yet.”

“Ah, okay.”

Erwin walked over to Levi's bed, sitting as properly as possible in hopes of being a polite guest. He twiddled his thumbs idly as he looked to Levi. Slim fingers pulled at the bottom hem of his shirt, lifting the dampened fabric over his thin frame and revealing the pale curves of his torso to Erwin. The blond's eyes widened, as he looked away quickly with reddening cheeks and a growing lump in his throat.

“Um...”

“Don't worry. I'm just gonna go take a quick shower. You don't have to feel so embarrassed.”

When Erwin looked back to Levi, who was completely shirtless now. His chest was painted a faint red and his slim stomach an even paler white than his face. Erwin felt that familiar, unnerving thrum of his heart return as he looked to the other, doing his best to keep eye-contact and not focus on his mostly naked body.

Levi left the room quickly, no hesitation in his step and an unencumbered stare forward. The blond sat silent for a few minutes, taking in his surroundings until he heard the sound of water running into a tub across the hall. As courteous as he was trying to be as a guest, he realized that Levi was not a very cordial host. He knew Erwin was coming over that day at that time, and it wasn't like Erwin was super early or anything, so what did he urgently need to do to warrant needing a shower right as Erwin came over? The blond mulled over the thought for a moment, letting the slight annoyance it brought him fade slowly as he looked around the boy's room, removing his scarf and coat and hanging them over the desk chair.

He detected on his right a small nightstand. On top there was a typical metal lamp, and underneath that was a black picture frame turned over on its face. Erwin quickly looked to the open door into the hallway for clearance before he grabbed the picture frame.

It was only a portrait of a woman—a beautiful woman who Erwin realized his mother would have jealously shunned for her exotic appearance. Her face was slim and elongated, and perfectly framed by long, dark curls of smooth, sleek hair. Her expression was soft and warm with a welcoming smile that reminded Erwin of his own mother. Her eyes were familiar—grey, but with a tint of blue surrounding her pupils. Her face, he realized, looked almost sad. Melancholy photos weren't unheard of, but he thought that a woman so gorgeous, with such unconventional beauty, should never be allowed to look so sad.

“She was beautiful, wasn't she?”

Erwin snapped his head to see Levi standing in the doorway, almost completely nude except for the thin boxer shorts he was wearing. His hair was hanging damp against his forehead and temples, a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

“Um, yeah, she is.”

Levi walked the short length to where the boxes sat at the end of his bed, fishing through them until he grabbed a pair of acid washed jeans and the same t-shirt he wore on the first day Erwin met him. Erwin felt as though his eyes would bore through the other's skin, his cheeks flushing before he looked back to the photo of the woman.

“Who is she?”

His instincts were aimed straight.

“She was my mother.” Levi began to pull the shirt over his head, letting it land softly against the moist skin of his stomach and hips. Erwin kept his eyes on the photo as best as he could, searching for the similarities in the two, the obvious being their hair and eyes. “She died. That's why I'm here.”

Erwin looked up to him apologetically, his mouth opening as if to speak, though the words couldn't come out. He wanted to say 'I'm sorry' but he figured in context it would only be insulting and rude.

“She—“

“It was cancer. In the brain. I was with her until she was gone.”

Despite Erwin's efforts, his instincts betrayed him.

“I'm sorry.”

Levi looked down to him, his eyes shrouded and fogged by nothing, his lips curling into a solemn grin.

“Don't be. She was a wonderful woman regardless.”

The smaller boy had already slipped his jeans on, pulling the button closed and the zipper up. He walked over to where Erwin was sitting, plopping himself down next to him, a sizable gap between the two of them. Erwin looked to him, his fingers still gripping the photo like the treasured item it was.

“Tell me about her.”

The words brought a wide smile to Levi's face, though his eyes refused to meet with Erwin's. The toes of his right foot tapped against the brown shag carpet while his fingers curled against the edge of his mattress. It was obvious to Erwin that Levi might have a hard time talking about her, trying his best to push away the thoughts of having to do so if his own mother died while he was so young. Levi's spoke softly, the wide smile he had turning into a tight grin as his eyes finally met with Erwin's.

“You want the whole story?”

“If there's a whole story, then it must be really interesting.” Erwin flashed the other an honest smirk, urging him to go on.

“Her name was Eliana Rosenberg, born and raised here in Sina and Jewish all the way down to her bones. She practically lived in the synagog she went to with my grandmother.” Levi had the ghost of a smile on his lips, speaking softly and honestly about the woman. “She met my father when she was still in high school, and from what she told me, they instantly fell in love.” 

Erwin noticed that Levi's body had begun to relax a little, the nostalgia of the story washing away any of their previous tension, and Erwin quickly followed suit. Levi rested himself backwards onto his elbows as he spoke, though Erwin kept to his polite tendencies and simply slumped against the wall behind Levi's pillows.

“They had decided to get married right after she turned eighteen. Nick was twenty-seven.” Erwin's eyes widened at the information.

“Nine years apart? Really?”

Levi simply shook his head with a tight-lipped smile before he continued. “Yep. She told me that she had really wanted to go to college for art—she was an amazing painter, but apparently she was sort of blinded by love, and cast away her career in art in exchange for him. Anyways, the worst part was, he told her that before they could marry she'd have to denounce her Judaism.” Levi's eyes became downtrodden and grave, as if he were confessing something he had no right to say. Erwin did his best to keep silent, though the lump in his throat continued to grow with unease. “I guess he gave her an ultimatum, and I guess she loved him more than her faith.”

Levi's voiced trailed a bit as he shifted his weight around on his bed until he was laying on his side facing Erwin. He rested his cheek on his palm, his knees bent ever so slightly, as a single peak of one hip jutted from under his shirt—a snowy cap of smooth skin.

“But then right after they married, she was pregnant with me.” He smiled triumphantly, taking his moment in the story for what it was. Erwin grinned as well, feeling the ease of comfort more and more as Levi continued. “When they had me, everything was great. I mean, I don't remember anything, but I've seen tons of pictures of our little family on picnic trips and whatnot. Unfortunately, after my mother resigned from Judaism, my grandmother practically disinherited her that very second, so I never met my Savta.”

There was a major accent in Levi's voice when he spoke the word—which was clearly Hebrew—shivers shooting down Erwin's spine at the swing in his voice. It was light and airy, and it seemed so natural for him to say it. The smaller boy suddenly took in a deep breath through his nose, summoning whatever strength he had just to continue.

“Then things got bad. My father started to drink more, for whatever reason, and he got abusive. Whether it was physical or not, my mother never told me, but apparently just when I was three she decided it was so bad she needed to leave him.” Erwin let the somber twist in Levi's story wash over him. His eyes wandered down to his fingers, where they rested on his thighs—his left pinkie precariously close to the outline of the rosary he always kept in his pocket.

“She moved us about sixty miles away, to a small little town where she felt safer. She sent him divorce papers in the mail, and of course he refused to sign them.” Even though Erwin had promised himself he would keep quiet during the story, his tongue slipped for only a moment.

“The bible says it's a sin to divorce.” He was less correcting Levi and more speaking in general, somehow reminding himself of the things his own Bible spoke of. Levi kept completely silent at the comment, continuing after only a moment of hesitation.

“So instead of divorcing, they were separated. She joined back up with another synagog after living there for a year, though I could never tell you how she got by going to church, working, and trying to raise me,” He let out a solemn laugh through his nose. “Anyway, I didn't see my dad for thirteen years after that. Then right after I turned fifteen she started to get these major headaches and she was throwing up and getting really sick. I practically had to force her to go to the doctor, but I really regret that now.”

“Why?” Erwin's tone was laced with genuine confusion.

“That was how we found out about the tumor.” Levi stared straight into Erwin's eyes as he said the words, not faltering once on a single syllable. It almost made Erwin feel guilty, as if Levi's mother's illness had been his doing. “It might sound selfish, but I hated seeing her go through chemotherapy. I mean, imagine the most amazing woman you've ever known turn into a shriveled, cold, hairless blob of skin. It's not pretty.”

Erwin did as he was told. His mind conjured an image of his mother—her wavy blond hair and sparkling blue eyes turning grey and lonesome and forgotten as she withered and died in only twelve months. Erwin was surprised by how calm Levi was able to be about the situation.

“She died two weeks before my birthday.” 

The blond's hand instinctively clutched to his chest. In one odd way or another, he felt Levi's pain. He'd never lost anyone dear to him, no, but sympathy could be felt through all walks of life, and Erwin truly believe that people who can love, can feel the pain of loved ones, regardless of if they're their own or not.

“When is your birthday?” It was a natural question despite the context. Levi's response was a little less that a sardonic scoff.

“December 25th.”

A surge of empathy flowed through Erwin. Losing a mother right before a birthday, an abusive father, and a distant family—all these things that Erwin had no knowledge of about Levi until that very moment. If he had been asked about the boy before, he wouldn't have had a single answer. He probably would've assumed he lived a normal life, and that things were never all that bad or horrific for him; but he would be dead wrong. For what it was worth, he felt a great sympathy for him—whether or not Levi would accept anyone's pity, and he did not need it, he was strong. There was something there in the boy that Erwin saw, something fragile and cracked, but instead of making him weak, it seemed to strengthen the walls around him.

“It's a little ironic isn't it? A little Jewish boy with Christ's birthday. It's like I was born out of an apology.”

“That's not true.” Erwin swiftly diverged the other's thought. “A birthday is just a birthday. It doesn't mean anything.” Levi sent Erwin a somber grin, flopping himself onto his back as he stared up to the ceiling of his room. Although they'd only known each other for a short time, Erwin was starting to feel a sort of attachment to Levi. There was a certain draw to him that most people didn't have; something that urged other's to flock to him even though his expression might tell you otherwise. He was something different, something novel and vibrant. “And Levi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about your mother. She seemed like an amazing woman.” Erwin apologized, though he knew it hardly meant anything from practically a stranger.

“It's okay, really. But you know, I don't mind my dad that much. He let me be home-schooled, and he doesn't stay around the house that often. So it's not too bad, you know?”

Erwin nodded, even though he knew Levi couldn't see him, he simply wanted to acknowledge Levi's pain, whether or not he had ever felt it himself. The blond's eyes were stuck on the boy as he laid on his bed; his grey eyes wandering around the space of his blank ceiling. Suddenly, an idea sparked in Erwin's mind, amidst the melancholy story.

“Hey, I know what we could do.”

Levi turned back onto his side, this time nearly his entire stomach was exposed under the splayed, thin fabric of his t-shirt. 

“What?”

“I could help you unpack your stuff. It looks like you have a lot, and if you weren't able to get it done in a week and a half, you're never going to get it done.”

Levi scoffed at the menial jab and sat up on his bed. “Alright, fine. I'll tell you where everything goes.”

_________________________________________________________

“Wait, who's Pearl Jam?”

Erwin held up a poster he'd pulled from a long cardboard tube and held it up to look at. There were five guys standing off to the left, a chrome disk reflecting them in grainy black and white. In the top left corner was the name, and as innocent as Erwin was, he felt far less informed in that moment than he ever had in his life.

Luckily for the both of them, the mood had significantly shifted from their earlier conversation. For Levi, it seemed to be that talking about his mother had lifted some kind of burden from his shoulders, and Erwin was glad he was able to help. As they were unpacking the boxes, they were able to talk about various things—Levi gushed about certain things his mother had gotten him into, what movies he really liked—things that Erwin had never really heard of. It was like meeting a person from an entirely different planet for Erwin, and he liked it.

“You don't know Pearl Jam? Have you seriously been living under a rock?” Levi stalked over from a box he had been pulling various articles of clothing out of. They hadn't gotten very far, though they had executed about three boxes between the two of them in about an hour. Now on Levi's desk were several novels and textbooks Erwin was told were given to him by his mother. There were titles about birds, art history, any random specialty or hobby you could think of, Levi had a book for it.

“Sorry? And no, my parent's are just pretty strict about what I listen to is all.”

“Well, what do you get to listen to?” Levi nabbed the poster out of Erwin's hands, grabbing a tape dispenser from one of the boxes and searching his small room for the best wall to tape it to.

“We listen to a lot of classical music, mostly. Sometimes jazz or something along those lines.”

Levi nearly dropped the poster from his hands, though his jaw did actually drop. He looked to Erwin as if he'd suddenly turned into another species, his questioning eyes were stone and unmoving as he stared to the blond. “Are you serious? You don't get to pick what you listen to at all?”

Erwin shrugged his shoulders in response, turning back to the unfinished open box as he continued.

“Ugh, just you wait a minute.” Levi placed the poster down onto the bed and headed to where Erwin was standing. He pulled the open box Erwin was rummaging through off the stack of others and set it on the floor. Erwin stepped back slightly to give the other room as he continued to remove the other boxes. He was bent over a few, the hem of his jeans pulling down taut below the elastic of his boxers. Erwin's eyes were glued to the curve, but suddenly snapped back to Levi's face as the other came up straight with a single box in his hands. “Here we go, the grand finale.”

Levi walked past Erwin and set the box down on the chair in front of his desk. He ripped at the tape enclosing the box tabs diligently before he was able to fling them open ecstatically. Erwin peered over his shoulder slightly, looking inside to see a medium sized stereo, surrounded by small cassette tapes.

The smaller boy pulled the stereo out, a power cord handing limp as he went to set it on the small space still available on the left corner of his desk.

“Hey, can you grab the tape in there labeled as Ten?”

Erwin searched inside the box as Levi bent behind the wood desk to plug in the power for the stereo. He pushed aside several cassettes with various names and titles unheard of by him until he came across one blank cassette case that simply had the word “Ten” written on the spine in Levi's unforgettably slopping handwriting.

“Here.” Erwin handed the tape to Levi unsuspectingly, and the grin on the boy's face was unlike any Erwin had ever seen in his life.

“Thank you.” There was a lilt to the other's voice as he thanked him, a rise in octave that sent a beat to Erwin's heart a bit too prematurely.

Levi flipped open the case and pulled out the unmarked clear cassette tape. He twisted the volume knob on the stereo swiftly before he pushed the tape into the deck.

“This is their first album. Now be warned, your virgin ears might not be strong enough to handle the raw power of rock they're about to hear.” Levi's joking was endearing, but being the older of the two, Erwin felt the need to scoff and Levi's jeers. Just as Levi was leaning himself up against the edge of the desk next to the stereo, a slow and sturdy build up started from the speakers. A few chimes with a low tempo began to gain momentum just before a blaring guitar reigned in with a growing beat of drums. The vocals began and suddenly Erwin was surprised by the growl of the man's voice.

“Woah.”

“I know right?” Levi was grinning wide as his head was bobbing along to the lyrics of the song.

“I'll admit, it's nothing like what I've heard before.” Erwin looked at Levi with a convinced smile. In all his honestly, Erwin was definitely not used to music like that, but there was a certain rush of adrenaline he felt as he listened to it more carefully. Each note and word were mixed is this sort of mischievous rhythm that was surely easy to lose yourself in.

Levi reached to turn the volume down, his thin white fingers in contrast to the stark black of the stereo knob.

“What time is it?”

Erwin looked to his watch. “A little after two.” 

The smaller boy flashed him a devious grin. “Let's finish this real quick, and then you need to head out.”

“Uh, alright.”

_________________________________________________________

Erwin flipped the tape between his hands as he laid on his bed, staring at the unknown label and album art sprawled on the cover. Levi had sent him home shortly after they finished unpacking his stuff—his room now appearing to be what Erwin imagined it to be. Several posters were taped to his walls, perfectly aligned in the center between ceiling and floor as apposed to being vicariously thrown up with haste.

While Erwin was making his way out of Levi's house, the other stopped his swiftly before he made it to the driveway, running after him with a tape cassette in his hand. He asked Erwin if he had a stereo in his house, and when Erwin answered that he did, he handed the tape over, telling him that if he got the chance, he should listen to the tracks carefully, and to enjoy the music instead of the 'boring' and 'bleak' classical and jazz stuff.

The blond lost count of how many times he flipped the cover open and closed, taking pride in something he had—somewhat—found all on his own. Whether or not Erwin entirely enjoyed the music or the band, it was something different. It was something he wasn't accustomed to, and he figured that being almost eighteen warranted some sort of self-discovery. He also realized that he was really enjoying Levi's company—like the music he fancied, he was entirely new and fresh. He brought something to the table that Erwin had never even thought about before.

Levi was in a way, indescribable. Erwin could already think of a million things he was and he wasn't, but how did that really tell you how a person was? What Erwin knew was exactly that—it was what he knew. If he had tried to explain Levi to any other person, it would be nearly impossible.

As Erwin reveled in his new-found friendship, a bubbling tension grew in him. There was a taut pull in his groin as that mop of black hair entered his thoughts. Each second he saw Levi's eyes, he felt a pulsing between his legs and he gasped, sitting up on his bed. His hand went directly for in between his hips.

“Shit.”

Erwin almost never cursed, but when he felt the hardening erection under the weight of his hand, he had no other words. His fingers shifted around the fabric of his jeans—tugging and yanking at either side of the growing tension. It wasn't as though he hadn't had hard-ons before, but it had been a while since he felt something so searing and intense. There was a heat he felt in the pit of his stomach, and his breath nearly came out in pants as he did his best to alleviate what he could without committing a sin.

He rolled himself onto his stomach, his face pressing deep into his sheets with flushed cheeks and a slackened jaw. His hand continued to pull steadily, avoiding what desperately needed to be fulfilled. The tape fell to the wood floor with a clatter, the sound only accented with steady gasps.


	4. Ephesians 5:3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update, I am actually a literal piece of shit so sometimes it's hard for me to type.
> 
> Imagine [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9aF9_mZDyY) playing while they vidya game.

“I play winner!”

Nile yelled from his kitchen as he was grabbing sodas for himself, Mike, and Erwin. The two blonds were fixated on a particularly grueling competition of Super Mario Kart on Nile's SNES that Thursday afternoon. Erwin was leading a close second and they rounded several corners; Mike leaving several banana peels all over the track while Erwin expertly dodged them. They often got immersed in the motions of the game, leaning and pulling from side to side as they steered and turned the corners.

It wasn't uncommon for Mike and Erwin to head over the Nile's house unannounced on a random weekday after school. It actually became an unspoken tradition between the three of them after Nile had received the Super Nintendo for Christmas two years ago. If it happened to be a Friday or a Saturday, they made a weekend of just staying up late playing games and generally acting like young boys did, it also didn't hurt that Nile's parents were more than willing to house the boys for hours on end and even enjoying their company for dinners and breakfasts.

As the Police Chief of Sina, Nile's father made sure that their lives were lived modestly comfortable—Nile, as an only child, was always able to get nearly everything he wanted. New gaming consoles and things of the sort were not out of budget for them, and luckily for Mike and Erwin, he was more than willing to share his things with the both of them.

Nile came back out into the living room with two Cokes in one hand and an Orange Fanta in the other. He set them down on the coffee table before he sat in between his two friends on the couch. The two of them mumbled a barely audible 'thank you' while the clacking of the controllers' buttons continued.

“Oh, no no, it's fine. You guys enjoy yourselves.” Nile said sarcastically as he ripped open one of the tabs on a Coke can. 

Erwin and Mike were on the final lap—the music speeding up in succession of their pulse. The taller blond looked over Nile to Erwin with a maniacal grin on his face, mocking him for having still been in second place the entire race. Erwin looked back to him quickly, scrunching his nose in a predatory snarl. As playful as they were with each other during their lifelong friendship, they knew exactly when to take things seriously.

Nile curled himself against the back of the couch, looking between his two friends, smirking at their obvious rivalry. It was incredibly entertaining for him, clearly, to watch the two of them battle for winner of the Mushroom Kingdom cup.

“Shi—“

“Yes!”

Erwin had launched a green shell forward, barely just knocking Mike on the final stretch to the finish line on the final lap. Blazing past him in pixelated glory, Erwin won the race in the final seconds, jumping over the finish line mockingly to Mike.

“Damn...”

“Too bad so sad, Mike. Alright, me next.” Nile grabbed the controller from Mike's hand as Erwin sat back against the couch laughing.  
“Hold on, hold on.” Erwin set the controller down so that he could finally get a drink from the Fanta that Nile brought him. He took a couple of sips, sighing in satisfaction in beating Mike.

They played several games throughout the night—after Super Mario Kart, they moved onto F-Zero, then a bit of Contra 3 with Nile and Mike at the helm as Erwin watched. Nile's mother had ordered the three of them a pizza as they were playing, calling them into the kitchen around seven o'clock to finally get them to eat.

Erwin took a few slices of the pepperoni pizza and thanked Mrs. Dawk before he headed to the table with Nile and Mike.

“So,” Nile's mother began. “Erwin, what colleges have you applied to? I can't seem to get Nile interested in any.” The black-haired woman looked to her son accusingly before she smiled back to the blond.

“Oh, well, I applied to U-Mass and Northeastern University, and also a couple smaller schools for a safety net.” Erwin took a few bites of his pizza as the woman spoke.

“That's great! I'm sure you'll get in, at least with your grades you will.” She looked back over to her son with an eagle's eye. He met her gaze and shrugged innocently.

“What?”

“Nothing. I'll leave you boys alone.”

Mrs. Dawk left the kitchen as the boys continued to eat, joking and laughing as they pigged out on a lazy Thursday night. Mike and Erwin stayed for a couple hours more, finishing off the rest of the pizza incredibly fast and playing games for another hour or so that Nile had found nearly impossible to beat. The two blonds left at around ten, Mike's mother pulling up in her patent mini van, picking them up and driving Erwin home.

The both of them had their licenses, but coming from strict Catholic families, it was pretty hard to get the chance to drive any of the family cars. They rode to Erwin's place with some random radio channel turned up, Mike's mother asking Erwin a few typical questions that mothers asked of their son's friends—how's your family? What are your plans for the future? The boring sort of stuff that Erwin found himself answering over and over again throughout the beginning of the year to family and friends.

The Zacharius' dropped him off at home, waving him off once he was safely inside the front door of his house. His mother yelled hello from the kitchen as he shut the door, the rest of the house quiet and dark as his father and brother were already asleep. His mother always made an account to stay up until he was finally home, even if he was just going over to a friend's house. As strict and hovering as she was, he appreciated the attention and attachment for what it was.

He woke up as he normally did in the morning for school, showering and dressing in a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, just like any other day.

The day was boring—going from class to class in the monotonous schedule of a near-graduated senior in high school. He was starting to realize that the day-to-day actions were becoming so much more boring, taking notice that there were still a lot of things he'd never taken the chance to do. In a way he felt sort of cheated by his upbringing; everything provided except for an expansive freedom, but for all he knew, he was happy with that. He wasn't the type to rebel or go against his parent's wishes, and it wasn't even that he wanted to, but he had to admit to himself that he was pretty curious about what he was missing out on.

Once he got home, Erwin figured he would just rest his weekend away until Sunday—finish a few homework assignments and basically just laze around watching TV with Armin and his dad or maybe just go to the park and read. He didn't have much else to do, and it wasn't like he and his friends had planned anything, so the afternoon, evening, and all of Saturday were at his disposal.

At around ten-thirty, after a nice dinner of Chicken Parmesan with his family, the blond found himself in his room reading an old copy of _The Odyssey_ his father had given to him. It was a printing—his dad had told him—that was rare and hard to come by, and that it was given to him in college by a Philosophy professor that he dearly admired. When he'd given it to Erwin he told him to cherish the story for what it was, and to enjoy the tale as often as he'd like, which is exactly what he was doing in the middle of his third time reading through it.

Just as he was at the beginning of the fourteenth chapter, Erwin heard a small tap against the glass of his window. He looked over from his bed where he was laying, eyeing the half shaded window for a few seconds until he saw a small piece of something hit against the glass again. He marked his place in the book and walked over slowly. Erwin drew the shade higher, staring down to see a small black figure standing convincingly tall at the foot of his driveway. The blond squinted to get a better look at who the perpetrator might be until he saw the figure look up to him with a familiar silver gaze.

He furrowed his brows as he unlatched the window and lifted it open.

“Levi, what are you doing here?” He tried to be as quiet as possible, though he realized it was pointless giving how early it still was in the night. Levi split open a rather devious smile in his direction, waving a bit timidly up to the older boy. 

“Come down here.” It was all he said as he curled his fingers in a 'come hither' motion, and like a spell on an unsuspecting victim, Erwin sighed and shut the window. He made his way down the stairs quietly, being sure not the possibly disturb his mother and father who were most likely watching television in their room. He slipped through the front door as sneakily as possible, making sure not to make too much noise while shutting the door.

He was still only wearing a plain t-shirt and his jeans, and as he stepped out into the mid-Spring night, he felt a chill rush through him, walking down the steps to the sidewalk. Levi was waiting for him, sitting with his back to Erwin in the cool grass in front of his house wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled over his head. He was camouflaged by the night in the dark colors of his hoodie and pants but in incredible stark contrast to the blaring paleness of his skin.

“So, what are you doing here?” Erwin was already hugging himself to defend from the cold wind.

“Nothing really. I was a bit bored.” Levi stood up, a blade of grass pinched between his fingers. He was splintering and pulling small pieces off as he turned around to look at Erwin, meeting him at the end of the walkway.

“How did you figure out where I lived anyway?”  
Levi snorted as he let the blade of grass blow off with a particularly strong gust of wind that forced Erwin to shiver uncontrollably. “In a small little town like this? It's not very hard to find out where you live.”

Erwin let a small silence fall between them, looking up and down the length of his street he admired how quiet it was in the early night. Levi looked to him almost hesitantly, as if he were ready to ask a heart-wrenching question, but the words had just escaped him. The smaller boy took in a deep breath before he let it out with a forced succession of coughs.

“I was wondering if maybe you'd want to come to a party with me?”

Erwin met Levi's gaze—the bright luminescence of the nearby street-lamp casting a halo in the grey of his eyes. “You mean,” Erwin stuttered slightly, his quiet tone faltering just an octave higher that usual. “Right now? Tonight?”

Levi nodded, an innocent tilt to his head which forced his bangs over his eyes as if he were a small child asking for something that they'd already gotten. Erwin was—to say the least—a little baffled by the proposition. He was _definitely_ not the type to go out to parties on a Friday night, nor to go to one his parents hadn't known or approved of him going to. He didn't have any knowledge of people who threw parties; he knew that Mike and Nile had gone to a couple, and they had even invited him a couple of times, but he decided that parties weren't really his environment.

As he looked down to Levi, ready with all of his might to decline, something hit him like it did earlier that day. He too, was bored. Erwin Smith—the good Catholic boy who'd never had a single drink in his life, never kissed a girl, had only ever touched himself inappropriately once—the perfect young man that every mother would loved to have. Boring.

“Um...” There was still a tinge of trepidation in him, a force or something calling him back and telling him that good boys didn't do bad things, that nice young men didn't go off to parties with boys in the middle of the night. But he held himself. His father had told him stories of when he was in college and high school, and that it was a natural thing for boys to go off and have fun while they were young, and that there was time to grow up later.

Levi was looking up to him still, waiting for an answer with a lidded gaze shrouded by the black veil of his bangs, his lips cracked and chapped by the cold air—begging for moisture.

“Y-yeah, okay. But it can't be too late, okay? I don't want my parents to find out.”

A light shone in Levi's eyes, as well as a smile Erwin had never seen before.

“Alright then,” Levi looked down the length of Erwin with a smirk. “Maybe you should get a jacket.”

The blond rubbed his arms one final time before he nodded and made his way back into the house. As he climbed the stairs carefully, he felt elated—something like adrenaline rushed through him like it'd never done before. It wasn't so much that going against the set of house rules his parents had put into place excited him, but that he was simply going out in the first place. He did things often with his friends of course, but it was almost always at one of their houses, and his mother always knew, but this time around, the idea of sneaking out sent shivers down his spine that the cold air could hardly compete with.  
Once he got back into his room he grabbed an old jumper he didn't mind getting dirty. It was his father's from college, with the Northeastern name in bold print on the plain grey fabric. He decided that instead of taking the stairs and risking being heard by his parents, he opted to climb out his window onto the front roof. He left a small gap opened for when he came back, then climbed over the roof, treading carefully to the edge on the side of the house where an arbor was set up. Ivy grew up the lengths of the poles elegantly, and Erwin felt a little bad for having to climb down, scraping his shoes down on the leaves.

He dropped from halfway down the front mast, and unlocked the side gate of the house to find Levi waiting for him by his mother's sedan. The shorter boy cocked his head in the direction of the street, leading Erwin down the length of the driveway off into the dark night.

They talked and laughed about certain things; Levi asked if Erwin was able to give the tape he gave him a listen to which Erwin replied that he hadn't had the opportunity to yet because he couldn't find a time when his parents weren't home so that he could use the stereo. Levi seemed almost in shock that Erwin didn't have a stereo of his own, or at least a Walkman he could use to listen to the tape on his own. The blond found it hilarious how sheltered Levi thought he really was, and in actuality, sure, he was sheltered and harbored like a child, but it didn't matter too much to him because he knew his mother meant well by it.

Erwin told Levi about his father—about how he taught at the St. Mary's about thirty miles away from Sina, and how great he was. He was an incredibly intelligent man; majoring in English and minoring in Philosophy, his father was his greatest idol next to Jesus Christ. As Erwin spoke of him, Levi gazed at him with a solemn sort of expression, as if he was looking for something he'd missed for many years, like he lost something important to him.

It only took them about half an hour to get to where the party was—in Levi's neighborhood, in one house, the lights were still shining gold in the dark, and there was the hum and low vibration of loud music coming from inside. Erwin followed Levi closely into the place, a sudden rush of trepidation surging through him. He didn't know who would be there, and he couldn't deny he was worried as to what crowd Levi had gotten himself into so quickly after moving to Sina.

Once inside, Erwin was able to recognize a few key people; first he saw Auruo, who instantly beamed as the two walked in.

“Woah! Is that Erwin Smith? I never thought I'd see you at a party in a million years!” Auruo shook hands with Erwin, a bit formal, and then moved to Levi where he'd also shook his hand, but in a much less cordial way. “I didn't know you knew Erwin Smith. How were you able to get him to come here?”

“I just asked him. And I know him from church.” Levi gave a smug smirk in the blond's direction, turning back to Auruo who had a red plastic cup in his hand.

Erwin looked around the sparsely crowded living room—the stereo up just loud enough to force people to stand ear to ear to talk unless they wanted to yell. There were several faced he hadn't recognized before, probably people from Mike's school, and those who didn't go to the church.

“Erwin?!” The blond whipped his head to see Petra walking from the nearby hallway with her own plastic cup in hand. Her eyes were blown wide, but Erwin was just as shocked to see her. She was wearing a dress that hugged her tightly, inching up her legs almost too high. It was a silky little green number, strapless, that she wore with a pair of high, black pumps. Erwin's jaw nearly dropped when he saw her, looking her up and down just awe-struck by her. 

“Erwin, what are you doing here!?” She came stalking towards him, his eyes still glued to her in utter shock.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“W-well, me and Auruo come to these parties sometimes...” He saw a bright flash of red to her cheeks as she spoke, obviously embarrassed to be caught like that. Erwin and Petra had known each other for years because of their parents' involvements with the church, and it had always seemed that—just like Erwin—Petra was the picture-perfect image of a righteous Catholic. “But really, why are _you_ here? Does your mother know?”

Erwin scoffed a bit at her response, the arrogance of a rebellious teenager already flaunting out in place of his well-mannered demeanor. “She doesn't know. I snuck out.” He jabbed his thumb in Levi's direction who was still having a light conversation with Auruo.

The look on Petra's face could only be described as shocked. She looked to Erwin with wide eyes, her mouth nearly agape; her reaction was enough to make him grin triumphantly, breaking the solid wall of assumption. Before he got a chance to say anything more to her he felt a tug on his sweater, he looked down to see Levi, red cup in hand, looking up to him expectantly. Levi lifted the cup as if to ask if he wanted any, to which Erwin shook his head. He was more than ready to sneak out of the house with the boy, but he was a little less willing to go back drunk.

Levi shrugged and hooked his arm around Erwin's, dragging him to a nearby couch. Erwin flashed a smile back to Petra, who was standing next to Auruo; the two of them shaking their heads in sync.

“So, how do you know Auruo?” Erwin sat next to Levi on the otherwise unoccupied couch, the living room a lot less crowded than when they first arrived.

“He knows a couple friends of mine up where I used to live with my mom. After I told them I was moving down here to Sina, they told me to meet up with him.”

Erwin nodded his head, watching intently as Levi took a couple sips of whatever it was he had in the cup. He figured that he shouldn't judge based on what Levi was doing, he just didn't want to do it himself, and it seemed as though Levi was thoughtful enough not to push it on him.

“So, I was hearing people talk about Lent on Sunday. What was the deal with that?” Levi turned to the blond, twisting his body on the couch and tucking his left leg under his right knee. He continued to sip his drink as he watched Erwin.

“Oh, well, Lent is pretty much just a period of time where you give something up for forty days until Easter. Most people give up certain entertainment stuff, foods, stuff like that.” Levi furrowed his brows, questioning Erwin with a look alone. 

“Does every Catholic participate?”

“Not always, but most devotees do.”  
“What did you give up?” Levi took another sip, keeping his eyes on Erwin intently.

Erwin had given up a lot of things over the years for Lent—things that most people would have a difficult time abandoning, but this year for him was particularly difficult. “Don't laugh, okay?” Levi raised his brow as if to accuse tom-foolery. “I...gave up potatoes.”

The raven's eyes nearly bulged from his head. He had to pull the cup from his lips, doing his best to avoid spitting out his drink. Levi swallowed quickly, wincing a bit as he held his throat and began a terrifying coughing fit.

“Oh—oh my,” another couple of coughs followed in succession before he was finally able to calm himself. “You—I can't believe you.”

“What?” Erwin looked to him genuinely confused. It wasn't odd for people to give up specific foods that they really enjoyed for Lent, and potatoes were almost number one on the list after meat. “I told you not to laugh.”

“Oh, I'm not laughing, Erwin, I promise.” he lied. A few snickers were covered by his mouth, a pleasure in Erwin's embarrassment was clearly evident. “Sorry, sorry.” he apologized rather unenthusiastically, though he'd gone back to previous stance with his arm dangerously close to Erwin's shoulder on the couch.

They continued to talk for an hour or so; people phasing in and out of the living room and kitchen as they continued to chat. Levi had gotten up a couple of times to get another drink, an obvious lilt added to his step every time he got up. The more they talked, the more Erwin could smell what he thought was beer on his breath, and to his surprise, the scent became ever so inviting as the night rolled on.

It was near midnight when Petra came around to the living room with Auruo clutched in her hand. She was staggering a bit, the straps of her pumps held precariously in the fingers of her other hand as she walked the length of the living room to the two boys. She began to slur a conversation with Erwin about their families and the church, and as Erwin tried his best to convince her to sit down, she avoided her sobriety like the plague.

Levi got to know her surprisingly well despite his own onslaught of drinks, though he was significantly less tipsy than she had shown her self to be. Auruo hung on her arm with support, keeping her up as best as she could until she finally leaned over to him and whispered something into his ear. Auruo smiled at the both of them and pulled her in the direction of a door in the nearby hallway. She waved back to Erwin who had grown increasingly worried about her well-being. He turned back to Levi, a worried look to him, but the boy was already standing—exceptionally well considering how many drinks he'd had.

“You wanted to go back pretty early right? It's dying here anyways.” There was an accent to his voice that Erwin had never recognized before, though he figured it was most likely caused by the alcohol. He nodded and stood up alongside him, following him to the front door, though he wished he could have gotten the chance to see how Petra was doing.

He and Levi stepped out into the frigid midnight air, his breath fogged and opaque in the air as it swirled around him. They walked mostly silent back toward his house; striking up small little chit-chat as they passed certain homes of people Erwin knew. Levi asked things about the town's history and what Erwin knew about it. He asked about Armin and his family and wondered what Erwin was like as a kid as they passed a nearby elementary school. Erwin did his best to keep Levi entertained, but his thoughts still wandered back to Petra and how she might have been doing. He was more than worried about her, though he refrained from voicing his woes to Levi.

The shorter boy did his best to walk straight, despite the obvious handicap he suffered by the hand of the beer he'd drunk the entire time they were there. He kept closer to Erwin's side than he realized until he felt Levi's shoulder brush against his arm and the faint touch of his skin on his own. Their hands bounced against each other in silent motion for a few feet until a match was struck; Erwin felt a few small fingers curl around his, squeezing lightly for their own recognition, and without much thought, or even a look, he let his own fingers fit in the natural curl of Levi's.

They were silent the rest of the way back to Erwin's home, shoulder's bumping, fingers warming in each other's, as they walked in opposite strides. It was cold and quiet, but the thrumming of Erwin's heart was beating and thrashing in his ear. The blond felt as though his chest might explode, and all thoughts of Petra were lost and betrayed by those of the boy next to him. He thought of how soft his hand was in his own—the skin smooth as silk and he looked down to see Levi looking back up to him, an affectionate smile to join the warmth between their hands.

They reached Erwin's house too quickly and letting go of Levi's hand left his own a victim to the harsh ice of the late-night air. Levi stood in front of him in his driveway, wobbling a bit on his heels and toes.

“Are you okay?” Erwin asked with a grin to the smaller boy. Levi snorted before he reached forward to settle himself against Erwin's arm.

“'m fine, really. You get some rest, big boy.” His speech was still a bit slurred, though it seemed to have cleared up a bit better from before.

“Are you sure? Will you be able to walk home okay?”

“It's whatever. I've walked home drunker than this.” The look on his face was more than endearing; the tilt to his eyebrows and the crooked twist to his smile made it impossible for Erwin not to grin in response.

“You can stay here if you'd like.” The question came out of nowhere. Erwin blinked himself out of a lovely stupor just as he realized what he said. Where did that come from? There was no way Levi could stay there without Erwin's mother knowing, and there could be absolutely no way he could explain it to her. “W-well, I mean, just until you get better, I mean it's not like—“

Levi burst into a muffled laughter behind the cuff of his sweatshirt, making sure to keep as quiet as possible in front of Erwin's house. “It's a nice offer that I'd love to take up sometime, but I really need to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Uh, I didn't mean it that way...really—“ Erwin figured it would be best to stop himself there. Blood was rushing in all directions as well as his thoughts. His face grew hot, and he did his best to avoid Levi's eyes as he rubbed his forehead nervously.

“I think you did, but that's okay. I'll see you Sunday, Erwin.” Levi pulled himself from Erwin, walking back slowly with his eyes on him like he were a prize he'd already won. He turned and headed back into the dull halo of the streetlights, becoming a silhouette Erwin wasn't sure he recognized.

It took the blond a few minutes to adjust himself back into reality as he watched Levi turn the corner of his street out of his sight. He stood there in awe and wonder, his thoughts surveying into uncharted territory that they hadn't searched before. He hardly realized that he had climbed back onto his roof and through his window until he was already laying in his bed. The dull light of his lamp still flooded the room, casting peculiar shadows on the ceiling.

It didn't take Erwin long to feel the growing heat all through his body. His heart, still beating deep and fast in his chest, was the only sound he heard. Hands wandered over his chest, ribs, and stomach, and even without any alcohol that night, he was still intoxicated. There was a wave of lust that washed over him—thoughts and whispers reminding him of the hand he'd held in the middle of the night.

God spoke to him—he thought—in a low and soothing tone that didn't match his stature. He felt his fingers touch over his skin, the sweater pulled high on his body while the digits ghosted over the sensitive skin. Erwin felt as though he were watching himself from another plane; he experienced the feel and smells in a completely different way.

And Levi. He thought of Levi. The way his fingers curled around his own, the way his fingers curled around his cock—the heat and slickness was beyond all else. Just like the way his hand squeezed with Levi's, he felt the same sensation over his aching length. He felt a haze cloud over him as his breaths became labored, and his thoughts were consumed with hair as black as ink with eyes like charcoal. Erwin could look at him, keep staring and gazing and eyeing and thinking of how beautiful he was and of how much he looked like his mother. The images had Erwin's mind spinning in a ruthless, drunken mess, hardly able to pull himself away from the natural course his fingers had chosen to take.

Erwin's hand began to pump, slow at first, sensing and feeling the thick blood coursing through his member. The room grew hotter by the second as he twisted himself over onto his stomach. He was propped up by his knees, head smashed into the pillow with hair disheveled and splayed over the cool fabric against the hot flush of his cheeks.

His continued to tug and thrust into his hand, his fingers laced with the slick wetness of pre-cum. His left hand, nervous and anxious, flipped the button and zipper of his jeans open around the length of his forearm, releasing him of his confines. He yanking his pants and boxers down just enough to grant him the ease of comfort as his fingers continued to curl and squeeze around him. His left hand fell to his mouth, cupping over his lips to muffle his moans and yelps that seemed to burn his throat, all in an effort to keep his parent's blissfully ignorant.

There was a euphoria that surrounded him as he fucked into his palm, the instinct overthrowing all logic and righteousness he'd earned in his life—but it felt _right_. He knew the sin and the repercussions, and he'd pay them, he knew he would. There was a higher power that watched him in his transgressions, but the freewill he was gifted in creation contradicted the original sin he suffered from by the mother's disobedience. He cursed himself for his actions, but there was a voice in the back of his head that urged him forward into release.

His muscles surged and caught fire as he hit orgasm, cum spewing over his fingers and sheets, spilled. Erwin, still caught in his high, lowered himself back onto the mattress slowly, catching his breath has best as he could.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=wv-34w8kGPM) while Erwin's doin' the diddly do.


End file.
